Mixed Realities
by CherubKatan
Summary: Spoof of well you'll see reuploaded to fix a few spelling errors


I don't own Weiss… enough said.

Note: Read note at end of story.

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Mixed Realities

Once upon a time, four men worked in a flower shop as florists. Their names were, Fujimiya Ran, Tsukiyono Omi, Kudoh Yohji, and Hidaka Ken.

Now these four men were in absolutely no way gay, but since they were what we call pretty boys as well as florists. They ended up having a very popular fan base among the young women that patron the store. Their popularity was so high that one night while they were all at home relaxing (in separate houses), the three older men received a telephone call from their coworker, Omi.

"You three will not believe what I just found while I was surfing the net." Omi said as soon as all four of them were on conference call.

"You found a way to hack into the Adult Content Id sites for, so I won't have to pay for my Internet porn anymore?" Yohji asked him jokingly.

"Nope that's not it."

"Did you find that website of those soccer babes I was asking you for Omi? You know the XXX one?" Ken asked the boy which caused the phone lines to go silent for a moment. "What?"

"That's just wrong Ken-ken." Yohji said.

"How's that wrong? You just asked for a way to cheat the porn industry! Besides I'm a man too and think of this Yohji they're exactly how you like them. Dumb and horny."

"They have no breasts though."

"So? They're still dumb and horny."

Before Yohji could answer Ken on the finer benefits of fantasizing about a woman with tits the size of watermelons as well as what could be done, he was interrupted.

"What was it that you found Omi?" The one called Ran asked in a quiet voice.

"I found an actual website about us."

"About us?" One of the older three asked.

"Yeah and you should see what it's about." Omi said with a hint of laughter in his voice.

"You think you could print out some of the pages for us?" Yohji asked.

"I'm actually doing that right now, Yohji. I'll bring them in tomorrow."

"So, basically you called us because of a few websites?" Ran stated.

"Well, it's actually more than one website, but the content all seems to be the same. Oh yeah, our competitors from across the street are in it too." Omi answered. "I'll invite them over so they can see this too. I'll tell you this. I can't explain it over the phone. It's best left for your own eyes to see. Trust me."

After a few more moments of talking to each other the four men hung up.

The next morning came swiftly and soon the four florists were sitting on or around the table which was in the back of the shop.

"Did you bring the print outs, Omi?" Ran asked pushing back some of his bangs. "You've got me curious."

"Yep! They're right here." Omi pulled out a stack of stapled sheets and passed some of them out. "You're not going to believe what you see."

Each one began to look over the content of the website. As they did so their eyebrows began to raise.

Finally, Yohji threw the stack of papers down. "I can't believe this!" He exclaimed.

"I told you, you wouldn't." Omi said.

"I've never been gay nor will I ever be." Yohji huffed.

"We know you're not but those girls, as the papers show, like to pretend that you are." Omi said.

"They're pretty well informed, though," Ran commented idly while still reading over the section with their bios in it. "I'm almost scared just by reading this."

"I don't know," Ken said. "It's scary but the stories are pretty amusing."

"Amusing?" Yohji nearly cried out. "You're reading written stories about how we're all gay and supposedly fucking each other and then some and you find it amusing! I mean come on Ken-ken listen to this…" He picked up his sheet again and turned it to a story. " And I quote this from here, ' Yohji slowly pushed his throbbing manhood into the soccer players tight ass with a grunt.' That's even more wrong than you wanting to go online for soccer chick porn."

"Its amusing Yohji." Ken said.

"I find it lacking in creativity," Ran said looking up for a moment. "Whoever wrote that has no idea how to write."

"That's not the point, Ran. The point is, they made me gay." Whined Yohji.

"Again as Omi said, they made all of us gay." Ran pointed that out again to Yohji. "Though, I do have to agree with Ken some of this is amusing."

"Like what Ran?" Omi asked.

"Like the fact that they think that not only are we gay florists, that we are assassins at night as well. Moreover, they believe my sister Aya is in a coma right now. Hn, don't they realize that she's living in America in some state called Kentucky with her idiot husband that she married when she was 17?"

"I read about that too. Or the fact that you sometimes call yourself Aya because you're an assassin only to revenge her and your family." Ken said.

"That reminds me," Omi spoke up. "Remember how I invited our competition over here?"

"Yeah? When are they getting here?" Someone asked.

"I told them to come whenever they felt like it but they said they wouldn't be here until oh ten minutes from now."

Four men walked in ten minutes later.

No one said a word as they sad down and Omi gave each one of them a copy. When they got the copy they began to read it.

"Well, now," said one of them. This man's name was Jei and he wore and eye patch over his left eye. "Seeing as how I'm written off as a "psycho" bent on the destruction of God, I guess I can't really say anything. Except Farfarello? I'm sorry but the name could have been better."

"The complexities of some of these plots are amazing. Like this role-play that someone's got going on. How many ways are some of us related? I'm at least some grand high lord of Germany." His German coworker said half aloud. "Although, it seems my little joke about my name being Schuldig is getting a little out of hand here. I really need to correct that."

"What is your name anyway?" Yohji asked. "I tend to refer to you as That Stuck Up Red Headed Gaijin That Works Across the Street From Us."

" It's Alaric."

"Ohhhhh… I'll try to remember that."

The German ignored that, "So, Brad, Nagi, what do you two think?"

Nagi sat there fuming. "Just because I'm short for my age doesn't mean I'm a fucking child. I'm nineteen for Christ's sake! I just look young!"

Brad just smiled sardonically. " I think we should have some fun with this."

"What do you mean?" Ken asked him.

"I mean act some of this shit out, confuse the girls. Make them really start to wonder about us."

"There's no way in hell that I'm doing that." Yohji refused.

"Come on it would be fun," Brad said." We wouldn't have to do it forever. Only a month."

Brad quickly talked the seven other men into screwing around with the minds of their customers. Little did they know, how quickly a month could turn into two months. Two months became three. Pretty soon, it turned out that they would continue to keep the charade up until it got to the point that it's original purpose was lost and they soon began to believe it as the truth.

The End.

Moral: Never pretend to be something you're not. You just might end up being that … permanently.

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Author's notes: I honestly don't know what came over me with this. 

Schu: You threatened my Koibito.

Bah whatever, just to let people know the part about the soccer women I just put it in there I doubt they're stupid… as a matter of fact a friend of mine while in high school attended the Gifted classes with me and she was a soccer player. Also this is mocking everyone including myself and then some. Only one thing specific in there came from something someone did and that was with me and a friend of mine.

Schu: Just get this over with will you?

What! It's not my fault that people might think the throbbing manhood bit was actually written by someone!.

Schu: Look just shoot her this time and get it over with. Or flame her for how stupid its

You're the one that told me to write it….


End file.
